Before I even think about any of the other options, let me go on for a while about the first choice in both categories and the very heart of village life in Mürren, the Stäger Stübli. It's hard to describe the kind of attachment you can develop for a place like that to people who have never been there before. It's the first place you always go when you get back to town, the place where you can be comfortable because no one really cares what you do, the place where, if anything's going to happen, it will, and the place best built for a brawl. The motto tooled in wood on the wall behind the locals' table reads: "Better drunk and funny than sober and stupid." But of course it's the locals themselves, not the woodwork, who make the atmosphere. Be open to them, and soon you will be absorbing all kinds of backwoods mountain culture.

The menu is huge and written in three languages, in spite of the fact that the Stübli is definitely not a run-of-the-mill tourist restaurant. Portions are big, and prices reasonable. Though traditional meat dishes abound, vegetarians won't starve here: the salad plate is fantastic; Rösti (hashbrowns) are available, either plain, with cheese or with a fried egg, and there are always cheese dishes, including Raclette (melted cheese on a plate, garnished with potatoes, pickles and cocktail onions), Käseschnitte (a traditional Swiss cheese-toast, baked with wine and mustard) and three different kinds of fondue. If you're budgeting but really hungry, try the more economical choices of the soup of the day (with bread), a portion of french fries or a sandwich, the latter containing almost an insane amount of filling in it for SFr 6.00. In the fall, don't miss the excellent Wild Spezialitäten (game specialties), and if you're lucky enough to be there during the Metzgete (butchery week), in late fall, you will have a hard time deciding between Ruedi's tasty array of homemade sausages.

As you might well imagine, though the usual coffee, tea and soft drinks abound, the number one drink at the Stübli is beer. There is only one kind, "Feldschlößchen," available either in a Stange (3-deci glass) or a Flasche (a 58 cl bottle). If you would like to get slightly more cultural, try the popular "Kaffee Fertig" (usually "finished" with prune schnapps or a mixed fruit schnapps called "Bätzi") or a "Kaffee Lutz." "Lutzes" are made with weak coffee, sugar, no milk or cream and pear schnapps, but if you would prefer plum, you must specify a "Zwetschgen Lutz." Like most restaurants in the area, the Stübli has it's own "Stübli Kaffee," with a secret house mix of schnapps, and the new "Kaffee Schlumpf," which I really wouldn't plan on drinking too many of at one sitting. Don't be afraid to experiment with your schnapps; I find Hagebutten (rose hip) tea with Bätzi, for example, to be one of the most...therapeutic...combinations around.

The tiny front room with its six tables is mostly for drinking, though you can have your meal there, too, if you don't mind the potential rowdiness. When the front room is full or a quieter space preferred, go through the little hallway to the pleasant back dining room, overlooking the road down to Gimmelwald. In the summer, there are additional tables outside, plus a grill and salad bar on the side terrace. Though special orders are usually no problem, try your German or go easy with your English, since Beat and Thomas haven't memorized some of the more esoteric English vegetable names yet and sometimes have to lean over to the next table to ask the English-speaking locals for a quick translation. To me, that's part of the Stübli's appeal, as are the blue and red traditional blouses the staff wear, often contrasting strongly with their new wave hairstyles.

After the Stübli, the next best place to eat or drink, and perhaps in some ways preferable, is the Hotel Belmont. Whereas everything about the Stübli screams "local dive," the Belmont's somewhat elegant pink and mauve interior from time to time contrasts amusingly with its clientele (myself included). Though it isn't built for a brawl, it's frequented as much by old hippies, farmers and train workers as it is by the upper-crustiest of tourists. Indeed, due to its proximity to the train station, the Belmont is a favorite haunt of the train employees, who are affectionately referred to as the "Bähnli Boys." Otto is one of them, and, though I've never seen him drink alcohol, his grin suggests raucousness at the ten-beer level--don't be surprised if he asks you to play "Bees." It's a good place to meet people, leaning slightly more towards an English-speaking crowd than the Stübli, especially in winter.

The owners realize that, in a small place like Mürren, people can almost be trapped with the same traditional dishes in every restaurant they walks into. Therefore, tradition stops after the usual Käseschnitte and Älpler Maccaroni, and a lot of the dishes they offer tend to be a little bit different. To keep you interested, they also come out with a new menu every couple of months. If you see a red banner advertising China Wochen (Chinese Weeks) hanging above the door to the restaurant, a full Chinese menu is offered along-side of the regular menu. I understand that they are going to try Tex-Mex Weeks during the summer of '94, as well. (Texan chef Brents Horne will be rustling up some grub and, with the help of master baker "Texas Bryon," will bring a taste of Austin to the alps.) Vegetarians will find an interesting choice of pastas and salads, and those who eat fish will often see as many as three fish dishes, unusual in the mountains, on the Belmont's menu.

The choice of drinks is extremely diverse, and, while they're economical by comparison to some other restaurants, don't expect the Belmont's cocktail prices to even remotely resemble those in North America. Conversely, open wines start at SFr 3.00 per one-deci Ballöndli, and beer at SFr 2.60 for a small glass. Of the two beers on tap, Cardinal is by far the more popular, available in two- and three-deci Stange glasses and in three-deci barrel-shaped Chübeli glasses, for those whose masculinity or grace is challenged by the tall, thin shape of the former. The usual selection of dangerous coffee drinks are also flowing freely.

The only other places inside the Mürren "city limits" where you can expect to get good, reasonably priced food in a reasonable atmosphere are the Hotel Alpenblick (way at the north end, five minutes past the train station) and the Hotel Eiger. If you happen to find yourself up in the Blumental, go eat at the Pension Sonnenberg; their menu is huge, and the food is great. (There's also a "snow bar" out back in winter, if you happen to ski by.) In the Schilt Valley, your options depend on the season: in summer, go have Rösti at the Restaurant Spielbodenalp; in winter, fondue at the Restaurant Gimmelen. Walther's in Gimmelwald serves good soup and sandwiches as late afternoon snacks (or dinner, if you sign up ahead--all prices really reasonable!). And the Hotels Tschingelhorn and Obersteinberg both have fairly extensive menus, considering their remoteness.

As for drinking, after the Stübli and the Belmont, you might want to give the Regina a try. I like their biological "Weizen Bier." The bar tends to be slightly alternative, that is, if anybody in Mürren is alternative at the moment. If nobody interesting shows up to talk to, you can always ponder the badly-painted murals of half-naked can-can girls. The Regina is open all winter, but in the summer is only going in July and August.

Mürren's late-night choices include the Tächi Bar in the Hotel Eiger, the Inferno in the Palace and the Bliemli Chäller in the Hotel Blumental. Expect to pay SFr 5.50-6.50 for a small beer and otherwise generally inflated prices just for the priviledge of being in a high alpine disco. Of these three, I almost invariably choose the Bliemli Chäller (Little Flower Cellar) because, well, I've never seen a disco that looked like that before. In stark contrast to the Inferno's futuristic neon decor, the Chäller is in fact a big cellar with comfortable, sturdily furnished side seating areas and a pool and pinball room in the back.

Last but not least, there's Gimmelwald's answer to the Stäger Stübli, Walter's. The bar only serves from 9:00 to 11:00, so time your arrival accordingly, and, if you're walking to and from Mürren on a cloudy night, a flashlight is advisable. Walter's claim to fame is the "Heidi Cocoa," as well it should be because it contains the only incidence of the somewhat elusive peppermint schnapps in the whole of the greater Mürren area. The beer is Feldschlößchen, in big and small bottles. Prices in general are noticeably lower here, and, from time to time, when the crowd isn't too big, Walther even brings out some free munchies.

But the real reason to go there isn't for the drinks or snacks; it's for the people. As long as it's not the height of summer season, when the place is packed out with loud, drunken tourists, the people staying at Walther's and the hostel seem to be a mellow and reasonably intelligent lot. Most would have to be, or else they wouldn't have found their way up to a remote place like that in the first place. Though the locals steer pretty much clear of the place in August, the rest of the time they're right in there, chatting up the visitors as though they'd completely forgotten the threat these same visitors can pose to their sanity during that one month or month and a half per year. Do your best to communicate with them. They may even teach you to yodel!

Ways to help deal with it, when it is a wild scene...? 1) If at all possible, find someplace else to go. 2) If you're hell-bent on staying but can't fit in the bar, be as quiet as possible out on the terrace, and don't sit in the street. 3) Expect service to be slow. Don is only one person and can't be everywhere at once. Consider ordering enough drinks at one time to cover you for the whole evening. 4) When Don says it's over, it's over. Don't wait for the fat lady to sing. 5) When you get up to leave, don't hesitate to stick your glasses and bottles on the counter at the back of the bar room. If you're among the last to leave, clearing and wiping all the tables is not unheard of. Walther and Don really appreciate the help (and, if you're staying down at the hostel, the same kind of helpful attitude is appreciated down there, too).